My Love Story: Part 3

I had met my roommate and soon-to-be best friend, Megan, while auditioning for Chapman's theatre program. We decided that day that if we both got in, we'd be roommates. So unlike many first-time college goers, I actually knew who my roomie would be. It took some of the stress off of moving to a new state where I knew absolutely no one.

When we started school in 2008, both of us had long-distance boyfriends, but both of us would break-up with them by the end of our freshmen year. Now, I wasn't as smart as Megan. I was on again, off again for four years with the same person. It's not a slight to him, please don't misunderstand me. Megan left her guy in the dust and understood she wasn't meant to be with him. I, on the other hand, needed some heavy-handed, long-term God-hitting-me-over-the-head-with-a-bat intervention.

It is insane how hard God worked to put Kyle in my life and even more disturbing how long I ignored God speaking directly to me like, "hey lady, would you just look at the man right in front of you!?" Look, it wasn't a Moses and the burning bush kind of speaking, so cut me some slack. It was subtle. Persistent. 

So here we go, let's restart the story. 

We drove cross-country with all of my stuff packed into a Ford Focus. I had purchased a new college appropriate wardrobe of Chapman t-shirts, baseball hats, sweatpants, tennis shoes, flip flops, a wide variety of bathing suits, and basically all summer clothes. I didn't pack anything nice - no dress shoes, no professional clothing, nothing fancy - at all. I was living California casual now, baby! Plus, I was a serious actor. I needed clothes that could move.

It was August 2008. Move-in day at Chapman University. We had parked in a weird spot not really near where my dorm room was (newbies). The campus, unlike the day I took my tour, was cluttered with people. It seemed like everybody knew somebody but me. And all the young women were drop dead gorgeous. And they were all wearing designer clothes and perfectly put-together outfits. Looking back, this was probably not the reality, but it was all that I could see. I was intimidated and scared. I was wearing jean shorts, a t-shirt, not a drop of make-up (seriously, not one drop), no straightened or curled hair (it was probably blown dry at least), and flip flops (no pedicure, cracked heels). Put yourself in a Kansas girl's shoes for a second: no make-up, comfort casual (aka no fashion sense whatsoever), walking onto this pristine campus with a totally different definition of beauty. I thought college would be relaxed and casual. After going to Catholic school for years, I was pretty excited to not be in uniform or dressed-up, but Chapman was NOT any more casual than Catholic school and it was a bit more on the skin-bearing side of the pendulum.

As we walked across Walnut from our odd parking spot near Argyros towards the dorms through swarms of beautiful people, a golf cart full of orientation assitants/leaders drove past. I swear it was like a clown car, but on a golf cart. And that golf cart carried a familiar face, my tour guide, David! Hey, I know him, I thought. I waved shyly. Then a bald guy hanging off the back end of the cart screamed at me, "WOOOOOOOO!!!! WELCOME TO CHAPMAAAAAAN!" Tongue out, shades on.

Oh my god, they're yelling at me, what do I do, I thought. This was my introverted nightmare. I'd made a mistake. Someone turn the car around. I stopped dead in my tracks. I had to say something. Think, Erin. Dammit! "Uhhhhhh....WOOO!" I yelled back, voice cracking, cart speeding away. Oh, boy.

Let me introduce you to my future husband. He was the bald, screaming dude hanging off the back of a clown-cart.

No wonder I wasn't able to pick-up the first hint.

(I'm going to take a little break from this story to get to some other topics that have been on my mind, but I promise part 4 will come before Valentine's Day. I'm not sure how long it's going to take to tell this story, so buckle-up!)

XO, 

Erin

My Love Story: Part 2

Welcome back, readers. If you read last week's entry, you know that basically the only reason I fell for my now husband was because he and his friend, David, saw a "UFO" and filmed their entire conversation about it.

I have to pause that story for a moment and provide some context that, albeit lengthy, is worth reading. We're going to travel back to when I was visiting colleges, circa 2005/2006. I grew up in a Disciples of Christ (DOC) church and had a youth leadership position that enabled me to earn a large scholarship at any DOC affiliated college in the country. At the time, I was convinced that I'd win an Oscar and a Tony by the time I was 30 (I actually made a bet with my cousin, Dena, that I would take her out for a lavish steak dinner if I didn't do those things. Folks, that bet is up in June. I could use a movie role and a starring role in a Broadway play right about now). Chapman University was DOC affiliated, had a great theatre program, a dynamite film school, and it was California - my dream - so I was determined to visit and apply.

Even though Chapman was my top choice, I visited other schools closer to home in Texas, Illinois, and Missouri. I loved everywhere I visited, but I saved the best visit for last: Chapman. The summer after my junior year of high school, we went on a family road trip to California. The trip was not entirely for the college visit, but it was on our to-do list.

We had the most fantastic drive out west; we stopped at amazing sights and enjoyed taking our time driving cross-country. The trip turned south, though, the second we hit Southern California freeways. I remember my dad was driving and cars were literally whizzing by us at dangerously high speeds. The whole car was on edge with me, my sister, and my mom all becoming back seat and passenger seat drivers. None of us knew what the heck was going on. We were fish out of water.

We finally reached Hermosa Beach late in the day where we had planned on staying that night. In our family, reservations were for chumps. You leave finding the best hotel to fate. It was always a fun challenge. Dad would drive up, mom would rush in, work her magic negotiating skills, and we'd end up in the perfect hotel room. I never remember being disappointed, except on this trip.

It seemed every decent hotel was full. Everything close to the beach was luxury priced. We were tired, hungry, and worst of all, angry. When we finally landed in a hotel room (which was our penance for so many years of good luck in finding last minute hotel rooms), we were spent. We were fortunate enough to be a few blocks from the beach. We changed and walked down to relax in front of the ocean. I was scheduled to have a campus tour at Chapman the next day.

I remember distinctly what it felt like laying on my towel that late afternoon. It was a warm, gray day. I was torn up inside. We had just come from this concrete chaos and here was this beautiful, vast, majestic thing in front of me. I should have been glad to be there, but I just felt sick. I remember saying to my parents, "I can't live here. It's terrible. I don't want to tour Chapman tomorrow."

My parents listened, but they suggested I visit to "rule it out." Plus, I had "scheduled a meeting with that Dan Oliver, guy, remember?" Mom and I would go to Chapman in the morning, take the tour, then meet my Dad and my sister for dinner, and then we'd all go to Disneyland the next day.

I was so relieved. I knew that I could never in a million years live in this crazy place. Thank God for tomorrow - I would be ruling Chapman out.

Our car ride from the Hermosa area to Orange was much the same as the previous day, but instead of ending with an exhausting hotel hunt like the day before, the second we exited off the 22 onto Glassell, I relaxed.

Orange, California was beautiful. Picturesque. 1950s, even. Be still my romantic heart - the aesthetic of Orange was so me.

We found the campus quickly. It was pretty dead during summer, but it was more of the same beauty.

Before I knew it, we were climbing up the stairs of Argyros Forum towards the admissions office on the 3rd floor. It was a friendly office. Again, kind of dead with summer time. There was one other family from Chicago there for a tour.

My tour guide was hilarious. He was down-to-earth, fun, and from Colorado! I felt so at home. I thought to myself, "if everybody at Chapman is like this guy, sign me up." I went from wanting to rule it out to unpacking-a-bag-wanting-to-stay-forever obsessed with Chapman.

Look, I know my tour guide convinced lots of impressionable young minds to apply and attend the university, but this was different. I didn't know it at the time, but my tour guide, David, just happened to be one of my future husband's best friends.

RIGHT???????

To be continued...

My Love Story: Part 1

It was all perfectly timed, really. I had just gone through a series of ridiculous, sad, and frustrating break-ups, fizzle-outs, and flat-out weird dating experience when God sent my husband to me via a Facebook video titled, "Kyle and David's UFO sighting."

Le sigh.

If you know anything about me, you know that this was the start of a beautiful, beautiful love story. The key to my heart, apparently, is this video.

On Christmas Eve, 2008, the video below popped up on my Facebook newsfeed. I clicked play, watched this video, and I immediately started falling in love with Kyle.

Kyle and David's UFO sighting
No joke. Has anyone seen anything like this before?
Posted by David May on Friday, December 19, 2008

Let's Talk About THE FORCE AWAKENS!

Well, the last time I wrote here the Star Wars teaser had just been released and I analyzed a bit of it, made some predictions. Most of my predictions were wrong. Ha! I thought it would be fun to go through my entry and talk about the things that we did discover and how they lined-up. I'll also share my thoughts on the movie in general.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD STOP NOW IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE FORCE AWAKENS!


My Previous Predictions

I thought this ---> was Tatooine. WRONG. This is Jakku, but I did guess partially right that this was either Luke or Rey on the speeder (original entry I misspelled Rey's name "Rae")

I conjectured that maybe the ghosts of Anakin and Obi-Wan would be in the film. They weren't. But I still think they could come around for Episode 8. The door is open, especially because we heard Obi-Wan's and Yoda's voices in Rey's vision at Maz's.

Where is Luke!? We didn't find out until the end, but I'm excited to see what happens between him and Rey.

I thought Luke was living in an old star destroyer. This was proved WRONG, but I was right that he was secluded and/or training new Jedi

I thought that this --->  was Leia handing Rey a lightsaber. I also thought that Leia and Han were Rey's parents. More on that later.


 I was right here. I knew Poe would be a central character and yes, he is very Han Solo - ish.

Han Solo, Ben Solo, Leia, and Rey

I originally made a big prediction about Han back in April: "Final thought: we see a whole heck of a lot in the Falcon. I think Han is going to play a big role. I also think he might die."

Boom. Not much else to say here, other than to discuss Ben Solo (I don't like calling him Kylo). I'm just not sure if Ben can come back from the evil he's done. I think there's a possibility he is completely torn between light and dark, but we've only seen one side of him. I'm excited to see more in 8. I want to see more of Carrie Fischer in 8, too, perhaps to confront her son.

I was so convinced that Rey was Leia and Han's baby girl. I still might be right, but after seeing episode 7 I'm leaning more in the direction that she's Luke's daughter. Leia and Han looked awfully guilty/happy/whatever when they see Rey's face reappear, but not the way you would look if you were seeing your daughter again for the first time in years. Especially from a mother's perspective. Sure, Leia looks delighted and misty eyed when she's hugging Rey, but if that were her daughter, she'd be sobbing. No question. End of debate. So my vote is on Luke being the daddy.

Luke

We see Luke for maybe a minute in episode 7. AHH! I can't wait to see more of him. I think we're going to see a torn-up guy. I mean, he trained these new Jedi only to have one of his students betray him and murder his pupils. Yikes. Sound familiar? That can't be healthy for a person's self-confidence. 

Rey and the Mary Jane argument

Just stop. She's going to be a powerful Jedi. Luke barely had any training and became a Jedi master in very little time. I saw an amazing article about this that sums up my perspective: http://io9.gizmodo.com/please-stop-spreading-this-nonsense-that-rey-from-star-1749134275

Finally, let's address the argument that The Force Awakens copies the story and structure of A New Hope.

Look, JJ did what he needed to do to set up a new wonderful Star Wars trilogy that felt right and good. He made a movie that included everything that we love about the originals and eliminated everything we hate about the prequels.

New Star Wars Teaser - released April 16th

I write this entry as I have a bacterial eye infection and an eyepatch covering it, so cut me some slack, alright?!

Okay. Let's talk about this new Star Wars teaser. (Side note: when are we getting a full trailer? This summer? Come one, JJ, make it happen). These are my gut reactions to the trailer. Not my analysis. I'm an intuitive person, so my instincts are pretty reliable. Take that for what you will, or ignore everything I say. Whatev.

This is the end of the first shot. We see some kind of speeder (I'm guessing it's a Speeder that looks like Luke's from A New Hope) moving from the left side into the frame with the downed Imperial Class Star Destroyer and an X-Wing Fighter. These are very OLD downed ships - my guess is they are ruins from what we knew as the rebellion against the Empire in episodes 4, 5, and 6. Guesses as to who is in the speeder:

• Luke - could he regularly be visiting these ruins in connection with mourning the loss of his father? Or could he be training Jedi inside? I don't know! The reason I think this might be Luke in the speeder is that he is from Tatooine, and his voice is the narrator that speaks next and throughout the rest of the trailer.
• Rae - we know she is going to be a central figure in episode 7. My guess is that she is Han and Leia's daughter, and that she has the force. And that Uncle Luke is teaching her. More on that later.

Luke says, "The force is strong in my family. My father has it." What strikes me here is the use of the present tense. Luke says "has" like he isn't dead. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not conjecturing that Darth Vader is alive, but remember, Luke can talk to dead people. He talks to Obi Wan, why not Anakin? That's my guess anyway.

Where is Luke??? Your guess is as good as mine. We know it's Luke because in the next frame we see his mechanical hand.

To me, this looks like he is living in the old Imperial Class Star Destroyer, having his nightly bonfire outside, reflecting on the chaos in the galaxy. Maybe in Episode 7 we find a Luke, not tainted by the dark side which some have conjectured, but a Luke who is grieving, struggling to find his next step, with few other Jedi to help him succeed in finally squashing the Empire. Again, all guesses. I do know I really really think Luke lives on Tattoine. 

Then Luke continues, "I have it. My sister has it."

This is Leia handing the Lightsaber to..."you have that power, too."

I think this is Rae getting the lightsaber from mom, Leia. I think it's Rae just because that's what my gut says, but also because she seems to be the focus of the last trailer and this one, too. Maybe Uncle Luke has sent her off to find more people with the force - cue Boyega's character.

I think this guy is going to be a central character, too, maybe the next Han Solo - type? We see and hear him "woo hoo". Or wait, could this be Han and Leia's boy? Mayhaps.

This scene was in the first teaser, too. We know there is an active battle between rebels and the Empire - it's still raging. Also, let's notice that the design of the X Wing has been modified over the years. As has the Star Destroyers and Tie Fighters we see in later frames (Kyle noticed this one - great spot babe!).

The new Imperial forces have changed their logo a bit, too.

I mean, come on, Rae just looks like Han and Leia's kid.

Rae and Boyega are on some kind of journey together - we know that now. We've seen them together in a teaser and featured in the previous. They will definitely be central to the plot.

Final thought: we see a whole heck of a lot in the Falcon. I think Han is going to play a big role. I also think he might die. Maybe he is passing on the falcon to one of his kids? Maybe he is going on one last adventure for his old buddy, Luke?  Also, see the ruins again???? That's something, there...

Maybe Luke is captured by the Empire. Maybe Rae and Han are going after him. Maybe. I don't know, but all I know is that the teaser ended with these two, and I couldn't be more pumped for this movie!

May the force be with you.

And here's the whole teaser if you hadn't seen it yet.

Introducing Children to Star Wars - SPOILER ALERT

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS ABOUT THE STORIES AND CHARACTERS OF THE STAR WARS TRILOGIES (ORIGINALS AND NEWBIES).

Like there are people who haven't seen Star Wars. Ha.

If you haven't seen Star Wars, just don't bother reading this. It won't make any sense. Instead, you should do yourself a favor and watch it. But please, for the love of God, start with the original trilogy, episodes four, five, and six, and if you feel you must watch the new trilogy, do yourself a favor and skip episode one entirely.

I realize the entire concept of "introducing" Star Wars to a child during the 21st Century is ridiculous - an age littered with spin-off books outside the new, unified universe, a new cartoon series on Disney, and the release of Episode 7 this year. I mean, come on! James is going to learn about Star Wars, one way or another.

But I want to control that introduction.

"Control, control, you must learn control!" Yoda demands this of Luke. What he demands of Luke, I am sure he demands of parents.

As I was recently reorganizing the books in James' bedroom library, I noticed two books on his shelf from the Darth Vader and Son series. Yes. You read that correctly. There were two books on his shelf that reveal the ultimate Star Wars spoiler.

What was I thinking? How could I have been so blind? I quickly scooped them off the shelf, looked down at my son's inquisitive eyes and muttered, "you never saw these!" as I rushed them off to a hiding place in our bedroom bookshelf.

Phew. That was close. I'm not sure how I'm going to introduce Star Wars to James, but I do know that I hope he gets to experience the story as if it's being told for the first time. So if any of you find yourselves in contact with my son, please, please do not take it upon yourself to spoil the story.

In the meantime, if any other parents are worried about this subject, here's some food for thought:

Let's get real, moms!

I really struggled with what would be the right venue for expressing this thought, and I settled on the blogosphere since it seems to be the best way due to its need for editing (more so thank facebook or other social media outlets) and this is the place where I express my opinions, so if you don't like them, you can look or read elsewhere. I am not offended) :)

Let's talk about losing baby weight. The reality. I'm talking numbers, here, people. I'm going to be real honest. The reality that for all moms it's different. There's no magic answer or method. We are all different, and lose it at different rates and some of us, not at all.

Before my pregnancy, I weighed in at 145 pounds at 5'6" (my height hasn't changed, by the way, ha!). By the end of my pregnancy, the week I gave birth to James, I weighed 196 pounds. Yes, I gained 51 pounds during my pregnancy. And I'm not ashamed. I was healthy, walked twice a day, even ran a half mile the week I gave birth to James. No, I did not have gestational diabetes (which happens for lots of reasons, not just extra weight gain during pregnancy, contrary to some theories). I did retain water and was so swollen that my wedding rings were off by the middle of the second trimester and my only shoes were flip flops or tennis shoes (with the laces WAY loose).

After I gave birth, the magic of breast feeding was supposed to kick in, but guess what? It didn't. After Christmas 2014, when James was five months old, I had lost a whopping 7 pounds. I weighed 189 pounds on January 1st, 2015.

I wasn't eating badly, but nothing had changed in my exercise or eating habits. Plus, I was still breastfeeding and had been advised not to diet at all. But I had been doing workout videos, walks, runs - what gives??

At 6 months old, I stopped breastfeeding James. He had started biting me, and while I know this is not a deal breaker for breastfeeding, it just seemed right since he had started eating real food and was ravenous for it. I figured that was the best time for our situation. Plus, this magical breastfeeding wasn't doing anything for my weight loss (seriously not the main reason for stopping, just was kind of an extra "so what").

Then something weird happened. As soon as I stopped breastfeeding, I dropped ten pounds in like 3 weeks. What?!

So, what's my point? My point is this all makes ZERO sense. THAT IS THE REALITY. Now, 9 months post-partum, I weigh 163 pounds. I am almost there, I still have a ways to go, but do I have any rhyme or reason as to why this has been the case? Not really. And this is what I've heard from other moms, too.

I just want to say to all the moms out there that are struggling with weight gain from pregnancy that it's OKAY that it doesn't make sense, or that it's frustrating, and that you're not alone. And that all those internet articles about breastfeeding being magical weight loss don't really apply to everyone. It's a process. And it also may never happen and that's okay, too. You're not alone!

I hope that we can go a little easier on ourselves. The only resource I read that made any sense to me was to give your weight loss at LEAST a year after you've given birth. At the time, I was frustrated by how long that seemed, but now, as I'm living it, it seems so reasonable.

It also seems like stupid thing to fixate on. Sure, being healthy is important, but so is loving yourself. I spent so much time hating myself for the weight I gained when I could have been enjoying my life a bit more.

Patience and persistence win at the end of the day, so keep on keeping on mommies, and love yourselves. Just know each one of us is different and the reality is that there is no magic formula to being a mom except loving those little babies (which we are awesome at). The number on the scale is important for health, but it's not the only marker of a happy life.

XO,

Erin